


Too Much, Never Enough

by Drkvixn91



Category: TMNT (2007)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Hurt, Songfic, character centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-08
Updated: 2008-07-08
Packaged: 2018-03-07 06:33:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3164846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drkvixn91/pseuds/Drkvixn91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LeoCENTRIC drabble. Leo was only a perfectionist because he had to be. To free his brothers of that burden. To allow them to be themselves, to be human. To save them from his fate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Much, Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> My first and only TMNT fic to date. Set in the universe of the 2007 CGI film. The song is there simply because I thought it suited this Leo.

_I took a walk around the world_  
 _To ease my troubled mind_  
 _I left my body laying somewhere_  
 _In the sands of time_  
 _But I watched the world float_  
 _To the dark side of the moon_

Leo stepped out of the dojo, doing his best to suppress a glare. His brothers were outside in the living room, Mikey was watching wrestling, Don next to him, and Raph was just standing by. Each looked up as he walked past and Leo hated the looks on their faces. Mikey just looked over curiously before shrugging him away for his show. Don watched him, his gaze scrutinising. And Raph. Raph was glaring at him, his whole body tensed and ready to fight. 

_I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah_

Leo heart ached as he looked at his brothers. At these people. People who didn’t even know him anymore. Because he was too busy. Trying to be perfect. For them. 

_I watched the world float_  
 _To the dark side of the moon_  
 _After all I knew it had to be_  
 _Something to do with you_  
 _I really don’t mind what happens now and then_  
 _As long as you’ll be my friend at the end_

He knew that he had to be perfect. To save them from that burden, allow them to make mistakes.

Allow Don to hold back because of his dislike for fighting.

Allow Mikey to be their playful younger brother who soothed their souls. 

Allow Raph to make rash decisions and lose himself in his anger. 

Because if he was perfect then he could allow them to be themselves. He would be able to save them not only from their physical enemy but the darkness that lurked. Just waiting to swallow them up. As it had him. 

_If I go crazy then will you still_  
 _Call me Superman_  
 _If I’m alive and well, will you be_  
 _There a-holding my hand_  
 _I’ll keep you by my side_  
 _With my superhuman might_  
 _Kryptonite_

Raph was yelling at him now. Something about being an arrogant suck-up. He didn’t know, he wasn’t really listening. Shell, he wasn’t even looking at him! But Raph was always like this. He took his hurt and anger out on others and it was better that it was on him rather than their brothers. 

_You called me strong, you called me weak,_  
 _But still your secrets I will keep_  
 _You took for granted all the times_  
 _I never let you down_  
 _You stumbled in and bumped your head,_  
 _If not for me then you'd be dead_  
 _I picked you up and put you back_  
 _On solid ground_

If he was perfect he would be able to take it all in, all their hurt, anger and insecurities. 

But Leo knew. He wasn’t perfect. For years he had strived for that one goal. And each time he got just that little closer it jumped another ten feet higher, leaving him struggling to catch up.

His brother’s called him a perfectionist. But he wasn’t. If he was perfect then he would be able to protect them. If he was perfect maybe their father wouldn’t look at him with such disappointment. If he was perfect then he wouldn’t scream his heart out into his pillow in the middle of the night. 

_If I go crazy then will you still_  
 _Call me Superman_  
 _If I’m alive and well_  
 _Will you be there a-holding my hand_  
 _I’ll keep you by my side_  
 _With my superhuman might_  
 _Kryptonite_

But his brothers didn’t see that. They seemed to think he was too perfect. 

But how was it possible that one person could look at him as though what he was wasn’t enough while another as though he was too much. So which was it? 

Leo had tried and failed. He had lost himself to the abyss between too much and too little. Maybe, Leo though, that there was no happy medium. That there was no perfect, only a deep dark abyss full of demons that grab you and hold you there as you slowly turn into one of them. 

And Leo knew that it was impossible to go back now. He would always be too much and somehow that was never enough.

_If I go crazy then will you still_  
 _Call me Superman_  
 _If I’m alive and well, will you be there_  
 _Holding my hand_  
 _I’ll keep you by my side_  
 _With my superhuman might_  
 _Kryptonite_  
 _Yeah!!_

_If I go crazy then will you still_  
 _Call me Superman_  
 _If I'm alive and well,_  
 _Will you be there a-holding my hand_  
 _I'll keep you by my sid_ e  
 _With my superhuman might_  
 _Kryptonite_  
 _Yeah!!_

**Author's Note:**

> Song - "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down.


End file.
